It's currently 2:11 AM.
Today, (or yesterday rather) I finalized my designs for the costumes and each character's props. This was a task that I thought I would have finished earlier than today. (Er, yesterday?) I do have a soft deadline in mind and I am very aware of how behind I am.
Note: I do not like feeling behind.
Nothing makes me feel more paralyzed than when I feel I am at a disadvantage. The next few days are going to be me frantically preparing to get knees deep in sewing.
As an artist, I have to morph and change along the way - you just won't make good work with your first idea. I personally have a convoluted method to my madness. Finicky behavior, like only feeling comfortable sketching on cheap newspaper print or keeping my voice recorder running when I am washing dishes because I always seem to come up with the best solutions when I don't have a pen and paper handy.
The best and worst part of this whole process is the refining of the idea. It's tricky, because, over the course of planning and sketching, you'll start to see the weak points that you need to address. But you'll also get a clear view of the best parts; the parts that make you stoked this is what you are going to make and share with an audience. And from that, you get five new ideas to think about, and those ideas lead to even more excitable options.
And that is how quickly a meaningful idea turns into shit. If you follow ALL those rabbit trails you will end up with at the very least a messy execution or worse, silly fluff images.
All this to say; I rejected 3 costumes that I had already gotten a start on. They weren't right. I shouldn't have jumped in that fast.
Examining my plans, pulling out anything that is "too much" and setting myself up with a stronger blueprint was the right thing to do, but ... ouch. I'll have to lick my wounds and then allow myself the indulgence of working smarter and taking my time to do it right.
My ego never does well during this process.
Even though I am currently very tired, as it's now 2:55 AM, I'm still stoked. I can't wait to get the first frames in camera.
Tomorrow, I start drafting patterns. Or sleep. Or... whatever.
July 2018 Update: "Interrupted" was a project I was working on that hit multiple dead ends, and one significant reason for that was because the work was extremely personal. So personal, that for my mental health, I decided to let the project go.
However, I did pull from and further examine these ideas, evolving them into (what I believe) a better form, and often include them in my current work.
While I will likely never finish this version of the "Interrupted" series that I set out to make, I did end up making the foundation of the work you see from me today. -mj